Mr Febi Ramadhan

Febi's research explores the struggle of Indonesian Muslims with same-sex attraction to redefine their sexual desire as a divine trial from their God and assert their agency to overcome this test to become pious Muslims. He combines microhistory and ethnography to look at the everyday practices of Islamic piety in relation to human sexuality. Through this research, Febi intends to unpack the intricate relationship between individual agencies as they relate to one's sexuality, heteronormative social structure, and the presence of the divine in ordinary Muslims' lives.

Of Agency, Allah, and Authority: The Making of a Divine Trial among Muslims with Same-Sex Attraction in Indonesia

This paper explores the life stories of Indonesian Muslims who struggle with same-sex attraction, believing their sexuality is a test from Allah, and actively trying to live heterosexually. In this paper, I argue that my Muslim interlocutors exercise their agency when they try to discipline their sexuality and live as heterosexuals. This study contributes to the existing scholarship on the agency of illiberal religious subjects by discussing the extent to which agency is practiced in the face of one's relations with divine and human-mediated religious authority. Instead of understanding Muslims' lives through the shift from the self-cultivation paradigm to the paradigm of divine intervention, I suggest that both paradigms are instructive and attending to both could elucidate how Muslims with SSA exercise their agency while continuing to be affected by the divine.